I’ve been agonizing about this, dude, really. I’ve been talking to my therapist because I don’t know if I should say anything. “Things are going good with Stephanie,” I said. “What’s going on? What’s with the smile?” Nice to see you again.”Ī few weeks later, I was sitting around on the set with a shit-eating grin on my face and a sense that my life was coming back to an even keel when Charlie strolled over. I brought her to the set and introduced her to Charlie, who looked at her blankly.
I asked her out, and before long we were dating regularly. Rich, my trainer, threw a party one night where I met an engaging, beautiful woman - an aspiring actress and comedian - and we hit it off. My first opportunity to dip my toe into the nonprofessional pool of available women came soon afterward. If Charlie’s example of his evening’s entertainment was best exemplified by a snapshot of lady parts, mine would be a picture of me hunched over a table of papers and telling a hot lady, “The real estate boom is building, you need to diversify.” Somehow I ended up spending 25 minutes of my hour helping her with financial planning.
We sat down, tried to make small talk and halfheartedly stumbled into a conversation about recent fluctuations in the stock market. The next time, I went to her place, which probably wasn’t really her place. It was really a very friendly experience, maybe because the act of having sex is quite the conversational icebreaker. My chosen vendor drove a white BMW and sported a sexy Finnish accent. I went with an out-call for my first try, which means they come over to your house. He and I had different tastes, so I didn’t go with his exact recommendations, but my forays into prostitution were about as awkward as you might imagine. What good was I to any woman I might have interest in? I decided I might as well pay someone for company and certain intimate pleasures so that I could at least get my equilibrium back with the opposite sex.Ĭharlie suggested a few online purveyors he occasionally used, as this was when prostitution was gaining a foothold on the Internet. I was in a bad state right after my divorce, and I certainly didn’t feel dateable. He’d said publicly that you don’t pay prostitutes to come to your house you pay them to leave. It was always a perfectly nice-looking vagina, but I would invariably think, “Why just this, and not the rest of the person?”įrom Left: McCarthy, Ringwald and Cryer in ‘Pretty in Pink.’ Duckie “was the guy I wanted to be in high school” because of his “swagger and biting wit,” writes Cryer.Īnd what do you say in that moment? Thank you for that vagina picture? How long have you been seeing … it? Please tell me she was awake? Then, as if to prove this, he’d show me a picture he’d taken of somebody’s vagina. “Romantically” is my choice of words, not his. We’d have conversations, and he’d mention that things were going well for him romantically. When Charlie’s marriage to Denise ended during the second season, both Charlie and I became single at the same time. What happened in Vegas didn’t have to stay in Vegas because it was boring as shit. I watched our director, Jim Burrows, play blackjack.
We showed up at the party for the syndicated stations, and then Charlie went back to his room to sleep. Instead, he went to his room and took a nap. We landed in Vegas, and I was ready to get the Sin City tour from my co-star. Really, if this was the worst I’d have to deal with regarding Charlie’s vices, bring on the bags of porn for me to hide.Įven when I secretly hoped for a sighting of Sheen decadence, as when we traveled to Las Vegas to promote the show by hobnobbing with CBS affiliates from around the country, I was confronted by a pretty grounded, sober married guy. Clowns? Golden-shower pictorials? German scat porn starring Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke? I was prepared for the weirdest, but it really was all pretty tame, some of it just topless mags. The bag was filled to the brim with porn.Ĭuriosity getting the best of me, I had to find out what kind of porn captivates Charlie Sheen, what decadence frightens him into having me squirrel it away for him.
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